Thursday, June 25, 2015

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia Nervous about Marrying Another Man

-Washington DC

On the eve of what many court watchers expect a decision regarding the ruling of Marriage Equality, Justice Antonin Scalia was visibly disturbed on his way to a car.  Boozebrain Productions has obtained an excerpt from Mr. Scalia's personal yellow legal pad.


 Dear Diary,

          I am FREAKING OUT right now.  It's only a matter of time before LGBT people will have the same marriage rights as straight ones.  I've sworn an oath to protect and defend my true love; the sexy, syntaxy, barely there articles of the U.S. Constitution.  If marriage is Constitutionally protected for all, I see no other choice then to marry another man.  It seems prudent I should at least begin exploring a suitable mate.  Clarence "Teddy right to Bear arms" Thomas???  ( REMINDER: Ask the notorious RUTH Bader-G if interracial marriage is legal yet).
         I wonder if Dick "Slinging Bullets" Cheney would be open to the idea.  I mean he already has a lesbian daughter...could at least get some pointers from her.  His heart might be fake, but I heard his mouth rivals a hoover vac.
       NOTE TO SELF: ASK LINDSEY G TO SET UP GRINDR ACCT.  Chief Roberts is giving me the stink eye, better get going, yet his soft skin and warm inviting eyes....ohh there I go again, maybe this won't be soooooo bad after all. <3<3<3<3

When we reached out to Mr. Scalia for comment, he sent back a picture of himself naked covered only by strategically placed guns


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