Monday, June 22, 2015

In response to Deflategate, Tom Brady vows to throw 100 touch downs with Revolutionary War era cannonballs


Following an off season work out, Tom Brady took the podium for 2 hours to answer questions from reporters about the upcoming season.  Asked if Deflategate would be a distraction, Brady responded "Distraction? How's this for a distraction?" Brady then appeared to stare down the reporter who became lost in his glacial blue eyes for nearly an hour.

"So many people have made a big deal about my football being 11.5 oz instead of 12.  For the 2015 season, I will be playing each snap with an 1776 Boston Cannon Ball weighing nearly 14.6 lbs.  If I don't throw at least 100 touch downs, I'll watch a Rex Ryan foot fetish video."

Brady closed his press conference with a 10 minute runway appearance sporting his new Ugg line.

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