Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Antibiotic Resistant Super Bugs Hold Conference to Decide Timetable for Global Pandemic

-Las Vegas

This past weekend, a conference held at the airport Radisson consisting of what doctors and researchers believe to be a multinational conglomerate of antibiotic super bugs.  The most discussed topic involved their roll out strategy on a host of newly developed antibiotic resistant diseases, forged in the cauldron of over prescribed medications for simple illnesses.

Bordetella Pertussis opening speech touched on themes of a global pandemic not seen since the 1300's across Europe. "Brothers and Sisters, Strains and Infections, we are on the precipice of a new age of dominance.  The humans and their great ally of the Penicillium family, have wreaked havoc on our kind for too long.  Despite sustaining massive casualties for the last half century, we soon shall rise again.

Dr. Frank Stein, a pioneer in prosthetic development, has spent the latter half of his career studying the rise of antibiotic resistant drugs.  His warnings have gone largely unnoticed, due to a few ethical violations in his earlier career. "It's only a matter of time before one of these hot heads decides to unleash a violent pandemic putting millions of lives at risk."

Clostridium difficile colitis, a rising star in the super bug petri dish called for immediate action.  "The time is now, we must strike before humanity knows what hit them.  We should be leading the charge of multiplying and taking over every host we can.  I have had some productive talks with the murderous nutjobs at ISIS, and hope to partner with them as our goals are very similar."

UPDATE:  The CDC has formed an investigation responding to multiple outbreaks of rare diseases near the Las Vegas Airport.  Gary Buesey and Lindsey Lohan have been detained for questioning.

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