Thursday, July 2, 2015

Ohio Man Rethinking Anti-Umbrella Stance


Robert N. Appels, 34 year old Columbus man is reconsidering his stance on umbrellas.  Appels, who was raised anti-umbrella since childhood, says the recent trend of more and more rain is making it "difficult to ignore."  "My parents were very fundamentalist poncho practitioners growing up.  My siblings and I just thought that's how the world worked.  It's hard now, because every time the umbrella situation comes up at work, my coworkers ridicule me for not getting with the times."

"I grew up in rural Arizona, and I rarely saw an umbrella out in public.  I guess most umbrella's were kept in the closet because it would look weird parading an umbrella around like that.  I'm guessing most umbrella people were afraid of the ridicule.  All of our neighbors were rain fearing poncho adherents."

"Once I moved to Short North area of Columbus, I couldn't believe the amount of umbrellas I saw.  Get this, I was walking past Union Cafe, and I saw 14 umbrellas out on the patio, just taking in the day.  It wasn't even raining, but there they were, blocking the sun for the patrons enjoying a nice brunch.  It was definitely an eye opening experience."

Asked if he would consider supporting an umbrella lifestyle, Appels responded, "The more I think about it, I'm not even sure why I was against them in the first place.  I've never been hurt by an umbrella, and quite a few of my friends rave about their style and dependability."

Editor's Note:  Mr. Appels wanted to let his family and friends know about his recent engagement to his long time partner following the recent Supreme Court ruling.  The wedding is scheduled for April 2016.  Umbrellas and Ponchos will be provided to all guests in the case of rain.

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