Austin, TX-
Danny Shartles*, a 42 year old office manager, expressed pure disdain after a routine morning activity took a slippery turn. Mr Shartles, an avid 2 cup a day coffee drinker finished his usual 9- AM triple espresso soy latte without issue. Extingusihing his Marlboro Light in the designated smoking recepticle, Mr. Shartles made the long journey up the 3 story office complex.
Danny Shartles describes his diet as somewhere between embarrassing and completely unacceptable. The two sausage, egg, and cheese mcgriddle's that morning were nothing out of the ordinary. Fearing an unpleasant odor situation among colleagues, Mr. Shartles paused on the second floor stairway, to let out a routine post coffee flatulence. "Immediately, I knew something had gone terribly wrong" Mr. Shartles said from the 3rd floor bathroom stall. "My farts are usually a relief to my stomach, but this was sheer terror. My body has completely betrayed me."
When asked what his plans for the rest day included, Mr. Shartles exclaimed, "I texted my out of work cousin Frank to see if he can swing by my place for a change of clothes. Until then, I'll be here playing Words with Friends on my phone."
*Names have not been changed.
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