In response to Deflategate, Tom Brady vows to throw 100 touch downs with Revolutionary War era cannonballs

Foxboro-

Following an off season work out, Tom Brady took the podium for 2 hours to answer questions from reporters about the upcoming season.  Asked if Deflategate would be a distraction, Brady responded "Distraction? How's this for a distraction?" Brady then appeared to stare down the reporter who became lost in his glacial blue eyes for nearly an hour.

"So many people have made a big deal about my football being 11.5 oz instead of 12.  For the 2015 season, I will be playing each snap with an 1776 Boston Cannon Ball weighing nearly 14.6 lbs.  If I don't throw at least 100 touch downs, I'll watch a Rex Ryan foot fetish video."

Brady closed his press conference with a 10 minute runway appearance sporting his new Ugg line.